gone in 12,000 seconds (or, “damn he can tow! what? it’s prolly the van…”)

background: last year i loaned a friend of mine who was in deep money trouble a substantial sum of money. she gave me the title to her ’67 mustang as collateral.

i left the car at her place. she’s the second owner, has had it for 17 years, and i figure she’d just come . . . → Read More: gone in 12,000 seconds (or, “damn he can tow! what? it’s prolly the van…”)

BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE! THE INVISIBLE KILLER

BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE! THE INVISIBLE KILLER

Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion . . . → Read More: BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE! THE INVISIBLE KILLER

run run rudolph

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to EVERY historical . . . → Read More: run run rudolph

norse night before christmas

t’was the night before christmas, and all through the hall not a creature was stirring, not warrior nor thrall. and i in my armour, my greaves and my helm, was drunker than anyone else in the realm.

i staggered upstairs and fell into bed while four quarts of mead were ablaze in my head. . . . → Read More: norse night before christmas

over hill and highway the banana buggies go…

christmas carols for those with … issues. 🙂

schizophrenia – do you hear what i hear?

multiple personality disorder – we three queens disoriented are

dementia – i think i’ll be home for christmas

narcissistic – hark the herald angels sing about me

manic – deck the halls and walls and house and lawn and . . . → Read More: over hill and highway the banana buggies go…

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Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following:

Thank you for calling heaven. For English press 1 For Spanish press 2 For all other languages, press 3

Please select one of the following options: Press 1 for request Press 2 for . . . → Read More: