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This pretty much had me speechless: as you can see, the chains are for a much larger vehicle, and nothing is holding them on but pure luck… the sound of the chains beating the crap out of the truck reminded me of roman infantry as we slowly rolled forward. i suspect that if we could have actually gone over 10 mph, we would have seen spectacular carnage. here’s another angle: it’s okay, he didn’t have to hurry, the failboat will wait. FDR: Oh, I’m sorry, was wiping out our entire Pacific fleet supposed to intimidate us? We have nothing to fear but fear itself, and right now we’re coming to kick your ass with brand new destroyers riveted by waitresses. How’s that going to feel? CHURCHILL: Yeah, you keep bombing us. We’ll be in the pub, flipping you off. I’m slapping Rolls-Royce engines into untested flying coffins to knock you out of the skies, and then I’m sending angry Welshmen to burn your country from the Rhine to the Polish border. US. NOW: BE AFRAID!! Oh God, the Brown Bad people could strike any moment! They could strike … NOW!! AHHHH. Okay, how about .. NOW!! AAGAGAHAHAHHAG! PUT DOWN THAT SIPPY CUP!! this is what had me laughing this morning The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes Dear Senator Sarbanes, As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Immigration and Naturalization Service in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you. My reasons for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill’s provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, what I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out. Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal Your Loyal Constituent, Jack Dombroski P.S. I look more like a Canadian than a Mexican he has a point -stone so this is a link to a blogger getting totally outraged about an article http://marchtogether.blogspot.com/2006/07/murder-without-conscience.html the comment section was awesome, but it appears they removed it -stone — end of line — -stone New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! New Rule: Don’t eat anything that’s served to you out a window unless you’re a seagull. New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you’re a dope. New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. New Rule: There’s no such thing as flavored water. New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the ass hole. New Rule: I’m not the cashier! New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn’t make you spiritual. New Rule: Competitive eating isn’t a sport. New Rule: I don’t need a bigger mega M&M. New Rule: If you’re going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what’s playing on the other screens. New Rule: No more gift registries. — end of line — -stone Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense. Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago. He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn’t always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable Parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge). His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition. Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap and was awarded a huge financial settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. (Stolen from Greg Courville) If you live anywhere on or near the planet Earth, chances are that you have heard of MySpace (http://www.myspace.com), the world’s largest free online computer game. MySpace boasts over 60 million active players, with thousands more joining every day, making it one of the most popular sites on the World Wide Web – so popular, in fact, that a number of celebrities have joined in as well, including 38-year-old professional teenager Tony Hawk. If you haven’t yet discovered the thrill of competitive social engineering, then you may want to read on and discover some of what MySpace has to offer. Basic gameplayThe player’s primary goal is to amass a large quantity of friends, which are small graphical icons typically depicting some part of a person’s body – not to be confused with the unrelated English word “friends”, which refers to people with which one shares some sort of emotional connection. To gain a friend, one must initiate a friend request against another player, and persuade that player to accept it. Upon acceptance, the player receives a new friend which is placed in the player’s Friend Space. The process of gathering these friends is at once the most important and the most complex aspect of MySpace gameplay, so to increase your chances of success, pay close attention to the following tips. “Set weapons to stun”The first step upon entering the game is to create a profile, which is a collection of text, imagery, and obnoxious multimedia elements intended to induce sensory overload in other players, causing them to become more vulnerable to friend requests. Attractive females are thought to have a distinct advantage over their male counterparts in this regard, as males are often easily mentally incapacitated by images of the female figure, which may allow the female player to gain male friends with very little effort. In fact, many male players elect to post pictures of female celebrities in the hope of exploiting the same effect; however, this is widely regarded as cheating. Other popular offensive strategies include the use of loud music and random video clips to disorient the viewer and momentarily impair their cognitive abilities. It is up to you to discover which strategy best suits your resources and abilities. Learning the lingoTo be successful in MySpace, it is important to observe the myriad of arbitrary grammatical conventions established by the online community. Although no one can hope to fully understand such an immensely complex and vaguely defined set of rules, there are a few guidelines that everyone should know. Use of correct syntax, spelling, capitalization, and punctuation may repel potential targets and compromise your chances of scoring new friends, so these habits are best avoided. Formally structured sentences are a rare sight on MySpace; typical practice is to omit critical syntactical elements, deliberately misspell certain (or, in some cases, all) words in each pseudo-sentence, and/or replace “difficult” words with shortened phonetic approximations. In addition, a variety of initialisms have been coined which condense common phrases into a short form such that they may be used frequently and repeatedly with very little effort. Examples include LMAO (“look at my absolute obsession!” – lamenting one’s compulsive preoccupation with the game), and ROFL (“ride on, Floyd Landis!” – generally used in mockery of an ironic situation). Here is an example of a typical friend request message expressed both in standard English and in MySpace lingo: > English: I thoroughly enjoyed viewing your profile! Perhaps you will consider accepting this friend request? As one of the most sophisticated computer games in existence, MySpace holds far more to discover than could ever be explained here. It is up to you to determine the strategy which will lead you to greatness… Who knows? You could even become the next MySpace champion. — end of line — -stone |
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