How your lifespan came to be

On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That’s too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten." So God agreed.

On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people,  do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I’ll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "How boring. Monkey tricks for twenty years? I don’t think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that’s what I’ll do too, okay?" And God agreed.

On the third day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I’ll give back the other forty."  And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I’ll give you twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years?! Tell you what, I’ll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back and the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back…that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay", said God, "You’ve got a deal."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

— end of line —


I am a maker. My favorite thing is adventure. I am restoring a 1956 greyhound scenicruiser to adventure in. I run the pd-4501 / scenicruiser registry. Stalk me: (Google Plus), (Facebook).

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7 Responses

  1. topx says:

    *giggle* that was cute πŸ™‚

  2. That’s awesome.
    I’ma steal it.

  3. chaneecat says:


    I loved the story, hon. Thanks for sharring. πŸ˜‰


  4. wfprivateer says:

    Nice parable!

    I actually dropped in to comment, in hopes that this would be a way of contacting you, as all my other means have failed. Your site’s down, and you’ve said you’re not prone to answering e-mail often, (and the e-dress listed here falls under the same domain as your site, which is down, and thus probably also not working…)

    If you’re curious who’d take so much concern in communicating with you, I’ll assure you, I’m no tax collector, nor govt. snoop- just a bard in search of a good cup of coffee and a few listening ears!

    I offer you a Bardic Tale of Mystery and Intrigue:
    I’d sworn I’d seen some reference to Clinton War in your roster of events to attend, and looked for you there, and I was pointed toward a familiar blue awning, and there was the Dew Drop… suspiciously vacant, but for a lot of furniture. Trusting in the welcome I had always recieved, I left my instruments behind what I took (by the conspicuously loudish cloak draped thereupon,) to be your chair, and wandered off toward court, the Merch’, and the smoking bridge, only to find no trace of you or crew… I wandered back again to said blue awning, but shivered despite the heat at what could only be described as the atmosphere of a ghost ship. My faith unswerving, I left my gear where it lay, and returned to Silverfox & Serpents’Coil, wherein I was encamped, only to encounter Master Mishka, who assured me that he had seen you safely off to a much larger war. Surely, I thought, your steadfast crew were (Wo)manning the helm in your absence! Once more, I returned to what I took for your decks, only to find it populated by strangers, who barely seemed surprised by my confusion, but offered neither comfort nor welcome at my inquiry, but simply smiled nodded, and handed me my things, as if my intrusion were unwelcome, but forgiven. (They had, at least, shown the tools of my trade the finest care.)

    My Lord… I can only say I am baffled, (and of course, that your presence was, and will be for some time, greatly missed.)

    • Sylverstone says:

      Re: Nice parable!

      ya know, i find this hillarious πŸ™‚

      the inn is going to rock this season..
      hopefully our favorite bard will be on board? πŸ™‚
      — end of line —

  5. _lista_ says:

    Ya know, My best friend gwen told me the joke that you posted, after I told her the many a wonderful thing about you and Holly..Se went and looked you up and SUPRISE there you were..It was really kinda funny just as to how much of a small world this really is…hope you and Holly enjoyed the cruise πŸ™‚
    you are in my thoughts

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