self help. heh.

For thousands of years people have looked for answers to life’s difficult questions. Now, millions of people just like you are finding answers and taking charge of their lives, through the original patented proven program of Valhalla’s finest deity, Thor.

“Treasure awaits you, but beware of your women folk, treachery is deep within her….by the coming of the spring she shall be no more”…Thor

“Thor Changed my Life”…unnamed lady

Author of two best selling self-help books, translated from the original runic into twenty five different languages, Thor has helped millions realize their dreams.

“Beware the traps set by the Frost Giants, carry your magic hammer”…Thor

Available on wax tablets or in stone, the personal Norse power program looks to the myths of the Vikings for answers…

“Can you give my husband and I some advice to help keep things hot in the bedroom?”

“Take a longboat and twenty of your finest men. Sail to where the sun sets, there you will find a village. Pillage, plunder and burn all that you find”…Thor

And, if you order now, we’ll include Thor’s subliminal tape series at no extra charge, so you may gain the wisdom of the gods while you sleep. Thor’s Personal Norse Power Program, call now….

866-pillage, that’s 866-pillage
— end of line —

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