Deciphering a Marketer
new – different color from previous design.
all new – parts not interchangeable with previous design.
exclusive – imported product.
unmatched – almost as good as the competition.
designed simplicity – manufacturers cost cut to the bone.
foolproof operation – no provision for adjustments.
advanced design – the advertising agency doesn’t understand it.
its here at last! – rush job; nobody knew it was coming.
field-tested – manufacturer lacks test equipment.
high accuracy – unit on which all parts fit.
direct sales only – factory had big argument with distributor.
years of development – we finally got one that works.
revolutionary – its different from our competitors.
breakthrough – we finally figured out a way to sell it.
futuristic – no other reason why it looks the way it does.
distinctive – a different shape and color than the others.
maintenance-free – impossible to fix.
re-designed – previous faults corrected, we hope….
hand-crafted – assembly machines operated without gloves on.
performance proven – will operate through the warranty period.
meets all standards – ours, not yours.
all solid-state – heavy as hell!.
broadcast quality – gives a picture and produces noise.
high reliability – we made it work long enough to ship it.
smpte bus compatible – when completed, will be shipped by greyhound.
new generation – old design failed, maybe this one will work.
mil-spec components – we got a good deal at a government auction.
customer service across the country – you can return it from most airports.
unprecedented performance – nothing we ever had before worked this way.
built to precision tolerances – we finally got it to fit together.
satisfaction guaranteed – manufacturers, upon cashing your check.
microprocessor controlled – does things we cant explain.
latest aerospace technology – one of our techs was laid off by boeing.
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