yes i love you, now hold still so i can shoot you.

I was drivin to a clients yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck,causing him to have to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and “flipped” the woman off.

“Man, that guy is stupid,” I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here’s why:

I drive 48 miles each way every time i go to this clients. That’s 96 miles every time.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on a 4-lane highway. There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.

That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper to bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4,000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day. Statistically, half of these are driven by females. That’s 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That’s 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That’s 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That’s 98. And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That’s 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons, and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.
— end of line —

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3 comments to yes i love you, now hold still so i can shoot you.

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