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How your lifespan came to be

On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That’s too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I’ll give . . . → Read More: How your lifespan came to be

California says goodbye

Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals.

Actually, we’re a bit ticked off here in California, so we’re leaving.

California will now be its own country. And we’re taking all the Blue States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii,Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all of the North . . . → Read More: California says goodbye

President Bush (god’s law)

Dear President Bush: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As you said, “in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman.” I . . . → Read More: President Bush (god’s law)

Reproduction

so, the subject of me having children came up yesterday…

scary eh?

i’ve put a lot of thought into this over the years, and for a long time my answer was just plain “no”.

mostly due to the quality of the woman that was asking (not interested in being trapped in your white trash . . . → Read More: Reproduction

Paquette monkeys suck

the past week in my life, in detail: my friday (daily, 5 minute average)

right now (daily, 5 minute average):

right now (weekly, 30 minute average):

right now (monthly, 2 hour average):

right now (yearly, 1 day average):

*sigh* i need to sleep — end of line —

. . . → Read More: Paquette monkeys suck

Hot Metal Chix Wanted!

well, okay, how about “anyone interested in taking the war wagon to vegas to see motley crue?”

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Keep your crusade away from me. (ikea/starbucks)

sometimes other people can say it sooo much better than i:

It’s happened again.

Not for the first time, I was subjected the other day to a heartfelt diatribe on how Ikea has singlehandedly leached all the vitality and vigor out of the world, shoehorned human creativity into an infinity of barcode-anonymous MDF wall units, . . . → Read More: Keep your crusade away from me. (ikea/starbucks)

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From the front lines.. (or, shut the fuck up and be happy you don’t live there)

September 11, 2004 Dear America,

“People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.” -George Orwell

The Marine Corps is tired. I guess I should not say that, as I have no authority or responsibility to speak for the Marine Corps as a whole, . . . → Read More: From the front lines.. (or, shut the fuck up and be happy you don’t live there)

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