Before anyone in government is allowed to promote a technological ‘solution’ to a problem they should be forced to share their knowledge of modern technology.
They should publicly perform the following tasks:
1. Set the time on a video and make a successful recording – using only the provided manual for reference. Focus groups suggest that, (like liberal Home Secretaries), swearing in front of the electorate cannot be associated with New Labour;
2: A timed round. In no more than 30 seconds, find an entry in the address book of a Motorola mobile phone – using only one hand, no manual and no swearing;
3. Configure a secure wireless network under Windows XP from a standing start before the machine has been hacked into oblivion. No calls to Microsoft, no techies on speed-dial (if you could find them on the Motorola that is) and absolutely no swearing;
and;
4. Transfer a piece of music from the iTunes music store on to their shiny new Windows Media Player simultaneously stating government policy on how DRM is a good thing for customers. (Obviously, despite the extreme provocation, no swearing will be permitted).
Then, AND ONLY THEN, should they be allowed to be in a position to judge whether their shiny new heap of wires and silicon comes with a side order of snake oil.
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