a sucking chest wound is just nature’s way of telling you to slow down.

norwescon.
boy there’s some memories there. heh.

i’m beat. my back is still screwed up, so i’m not getting nearly enough sleep, and that sucks. i need all the beauty rest i can get. at least i can walk now. *sigh* the tens unit is helping, but i can’t help but feel.. discouraged.

not because i’m not making progress, but because the stupid thing is taking so long to heal. all of my life i’ve healed fast, and no matter how bad i hurt myself, i was fine in a few days.

getting shot didn’t hurt this bad. i mean hell, the problem is my L5 disk, but i have pains all over my leg because of it???
ugh what a crappy design. “gee, i’ll move and all of a sudden every muscle in my left leg will cramp up and my foot will fall asleep, and my pulse down there will feel like someone is hitting it with a hammer”. urgh.

i really miss gothkittyn. wouldn’t mind seeing hirtzenocker again either. *sigh*. i suppose that we’ll all go do lunch again after i can actually get around by myself and it’s not quite so much like torture… i’d like to thank ’em both for being there when i really needed them. i don’t do weak well.

other than that, life’s been really busy, business wise. might have something to do with the fact that i really can’t do much other than sit. :/
the site is coming along very well, i’ve never built something this complex, entirely by hand before though. i mean, my bbs is over 10,000 screens, (runs excalibur bbs for windows) but this project is just… crazy. 2 years of planning, 150,000 lines of code, 285,000 images, and it’s about 10% completed. looks good and is functional, it’s just going to do way more than you can see right now..

mmmm.. suns comin up. my normal business hours are noon to midnight, and since i run my own business, that means “up at noon”.
i usually go to bed between 1 and 4 am. now i find myself in bed at midnight, and wide awake with sciatic pain, at 3:30 am or so when the pain killers wear off. … so i’ve seen more sunrises in the past week than i have in the past 15 years.

the first rays of dawn hitting the dew on the leaves of the weeping willow tree in my front yard makes it sparkle. the air is fresh and clean, the breeze off the sound smells of salt, and in the distance i can hear the gulls. goddess but i want to go sailing.

and i would kill for a solid nights sleep.
— end of line —

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11 comments to a sucking chest wound is just nature’s way of telling you to slow down.

  • I was fiddling through the friends’ list, so don’t mind me. I am actually having problems with both my si joints and L5 too. It seems to have been the result of sitting for a prolonged period of time. It’s absolutely horrid though and has taken a while to heal for me too. I’m going on my third month of a leave of absence from work, and it’s nearly driving me insane.

    • greetings my good lady, and well met.
      (and why pray tell would i mind? 🙂

      wonderland teas has a valarian root / hops / catnip compound that comes in a bottle with an eyedropper. it doesn’t taste too good, but it’s easy to hide in a hot cup of tea, and it *really* helps the pain, without all the nasty painkiller / liver issues. it’ll help you sleep.

      i sit a lot. i have a good chair though.
      i think mine (herniated disk at this point, the si is better) is simply because i’ve always tried to save the world.

      … and now i’m realizing i’m mortal (man it sucks).
      *sigh* i hired my friend chris to be my “strong back”, and it’s a good thing i did. it’s absolutely *embarassing* to me that i can’t lift things anymore, and if i hadn’t i’d still try, and make this worse.
      i just want a good nights sleep. 🙁
      — end of line —

      • Where could I get such a compound? I’m quite willing to get rid of this pain that is with me night and day. I had to stop taking my pain killer because it was hurting my stomach horribly that I was never able to eat, so I only have my muscle relaxers on my side.

        I had back pain prior to sitting so much, but this was just strange. It never went away after a good while, so I finally had it looked at. Somehow my vertebrae had shifted to the right because of the muscles in my lower back the ones on the left were quite energetic, however the ones on the right did nothing. I wish I understood it more, but unfortunately, I don’t.

        It’s kind of embarrassing here as well but for more feminine reasons I guess you could say… considering my lack of mobility throughout my lower back, I haven’t been able to shave my legs for quite a while. Heh. I now call myself Sasquatch, and this nickname has been picked up lovingly by my roommates. Great stuff.

        Good luck on getting that sleep.

        • wonderland herbs and teas. they’re in bellingham, and in the book.
          (i’m in olympia, and i didn’t go in there, so i don’t know where they are)

          sounds like you have a balance issue. i tend to slouch to the right in cars so i can use the arm rest. a good bone cruncher should be able to help you with a lot of it, if not all. i have a friend at labor and industries, and i can get you the “these people work magick” list of the best guys in town for this sorta thing if you want.

          and yoga is highly recomended. be *careful*.

          heh. in olympia here no one would notice…
          but why don’t you have your lord do it? it could be fun. make him stop at your belly button >:)

          thanks. sleep would be good.
          :/
          — end of line —

          • I think I know where they are actually… At least I have an idea of where Wonderland is. I think I may have wondered into there out of curiousity a while back.

            As far as a balance issue goes, I really don’t know what happened. Other than slouching slightly to the front, everything seemed A-OK. It was indeed recommended that I get into yoga though- but only after my back feels much better. I’m not supposed to do anything that could potentially increase the pain or shift my vertebrae back into their former position- the less comfortable position.

            Hahah. I should proposition my boyfriend to shave my legs for me. It’d be to both our benefits probably.

  • I’m so sorry to hear that your back isn’t better. I wish I had helpful advice for you…

    I discovered after many sleepless nights with an infant and then subsequent cyclical bouts of insomnia that I really enjoy watching the sunrise. It wakes me up, gives me a sense of beginning that I don’t feel if I wake up after the sun is secure in the heavens.

    I really enjoyed your description of morning at your house. Reading it was a lovely way to begin Easter, since I have been sleeping fitfully (and too late) myself lately.

    Get better.

    • thanks hon.
      and actually, it is *much* better than the last time i saw you.
      it’s just.. exhausting. if it would stop for a while, it would be okay. i mean, i can take *a lot* of pain for short periods, or even hours. but this whole “cooped up inside in lots of constant pain” thing? ugh. :/

      for fitful sleep the doctor prescribes a cup of cocoa and schnapps 🙂

      as for this morning, i’m sorry that i short changed you m’lady, i shall fix that here… (didn’t realize anyone wanted to hear it)

      the first rays of dawn hitting the dew on the leaves of the weeping willow tree in my front yard makes it sparkle. you can see it come alive as the suns rays bathe it, starting at the top, and sliding ever downward.. you can feel the magick in the air. the air is fresh and clean, the breeze off the sound smells of salt, the smell of the pines as they shake off winters cold is soft and pleasant on the air, the burble of the water flowing over the little waterfall into the koi pond.. the jump of the bigger ones as they tell me to feed them.. the feel of their little mouths as they eat out of my hand.. the warm feeling of mother natures caress as the rays of the rising sun warm the back of my head.. warming my back as the sun continues to rise. and in the distance i can hear the gulls. goddess but i want to go sailing. i need the smell of salt, the rock of the boat, the creak and whistle of the wind in the rigging, the snap of the sails as the wind unfurls them… the cry of the gulls and the splash of the waves…

      i think i’m going to grab my laptop and work outside today. 🙂
      — end of line —

  • I’m hurt, no one ever misses me.

    • my good lady,
      of course you are on my “most missed” list.
      I was under the impression that you were avoiding me, due to circumstances beyond your control…
      glad to see you still alive 🙂
      — end of line —

      • not avoiding anyone, just sleeping a lot lately.

        • i can imagine.
          it’s really good to hear from ya hon.
          i’ve been worried abotu ya, and as i gave my word i would “stay out of the middle of it unless specifically called upon by her intervene”, i’ve been out of the loop as it were.

          take care of yourself hon, and let me know if you need anything.
          — end of line —

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