checking ident: cerberus@nothing.more.than.a.crimson.afterthought.org

it never ceases to amaze me the amount of pain and anguish someone will go through to try and make a relationship work..
(no, i’m not having any angst at all with my own, so don’t everyone panic at once okay? 🙂

i just see so much pain. i mean, i understand not wanting to tell someone that it’s not working out.. especially when you’re like me and the word “quitter” is not one that will ever apply to you. but sometimes you have to wonder.

i’m a sucker for it. i’ll be faithful, and loyal, and try and work it out, until there’s no hope in hell and we hate each other. … or so it seems. the last 3 i still cherish and get along with very well, so maybe it’s a “being young” thing?

but i watch two people very close to me, have *massive* problems with their respective “men” …. and it makes me want to vomit. one of them has no idea what he has.. he treats her like a tarnished trophy.. and the other… grrrr .. he treats her like his unwanted property that he can’t throw away.

how do you tell someone you care about what to do when it’s not what they want to hear? i mean, i’m notorious for saying the stuff no one wants to say.. and i’m usually dead on target too.. .. but when someone has their face buried in your neck, and is sobbing so hard you have to lean against a wall to hold them up, and they’re asking you how to fix it.. it’s hard. you want to say “there there, it’s all going to be okay” … but you can’t because you know that the only way they’re going to settle their differences is when he gets a bullet through the eye.

this new years i didn’t wish for peace on earth.
i wished for the capacity to heal everyone.

so far i’m holding up okay, and everything i touch is turning to gold, or being better for my attentions… and since i started hangin out with gothkittyn, hirtzenocker and seriphina, i’ve learned a few interesting things about myself i didn’t know.. there was a major puzzle piece missing that was supplied by bailey, and now i’m starting to grok my purpose in life. kinda scary really.

i’m bored, and i’m done with my projects for today.. surfing my friends list i came across this little gem:

“DracoMiss: It’s just difficult for a bisexual, kinky, pagan girl that worships Isis to get along with your typical straight christian male.”

she is such a doll 🙂
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