gone in 12,000 seconds (or, “damn he can tow! what? it’s prolly the van…”)
last year i loaned a friend of mine who was in deep money trouble a substantial sum of money.
she gave me the title to her ’67 mustang as collateral.
i left the car at her place.
she’s the second owner, has had it for 17 years, and i figure she’d just come up with the money later.
so 6 months go by, and i decide i’m going to go get the car.
so i contact her, turns out she moved, game me the new address, and that was the end of it for another 8 months. (didn’t have time or a tow dolly, and i do have the title)
all goes well, drop off gothkittyn in bothel, and we head t’ward puyallup to pick up the mustang.
it’s 11:30. no big deal…
took 3 hours to find the car.
yahoo’s directions were wrong, so was mapquests.
ultimately a puyallup police officer told me where it would most likely be, and lo and behold, we find the car. the officer had asked me *specifically* if it was a repo. i explained the situation, and he said okay cool.
the mustang: pics!
it doesn’t run at the moment, (hasn’t in about 4 years) so i know i have to tow it.
i ended up having to back 1/4 mile up a fairly steep hill to get the dolly in there, then backed the car onto it, tied it down, and away we went.
the woman who’s property it was knew we were coming, and had in fact told me a week earlier i needed to come get it cause she was having to move.
down the hill, make the right, make the left onto the main drag, and there’s a pierce county sheriff comin’ the other way, and he flips a u as soon as he passes me. i figured something was up, so i just pulled off the road. (noticing as i do so that there’s no less than FIVE cop cars tucked in the parking lot to my left.)
i was pulled over to the side, had the rig pulled over, shut off, and my hands out the window before the cop hit his lights. i’ve done enough personal protection work and so on that i know how the game is played.
i figured someone had called ’em, no big deal. i mean, this *is* my car.
i figure they’re going to walk up to the drivers door.
officer: “driver! step out of the vehicle with your hands in the air!”
officer: “face away from my voice, and back slowly up to the sound of my voice, and if you so much as twitch i’m going to shoot you”
me: “officer, it’s a cell phone, (referring to my eholster) and it’s my car, you can relax a little”
officer: “so help me if you even move i’m going to shoot you!”
me: “officer, i’m doing everything exactly as you are instructing, you can quit threatening me.”
officer: “take two steps to the left”
(i do so)
officer: “get on your knees, and cross your ankles, and sit on them”
(amazingly, i manage to do this without falling down or something)
the cop handcuffs me, stands me up, and starts searching me.
then he sits me down in the back of the cop car and yells at the van…
officer: “passenger, step out of the drivers side of the vehicle”
me: “officer, she took a bad fall today and there’s a large center console in there, she’s going to have a hard time getting out of the drivers side”
officer: “looks like she’s doing it just fine”
me: “that kinda thing happens when 11 cops are pointing their guns at you, it doesn’t make it right”
(i have no idea where the extra officers came from, as they only had enough vehicles for 10)
officer: (to chaneecat) “turn around and walk backwards t’ward my voice”
me: “dude, she took a bad fall, she can barely walk, and she’s a klutz, you should have her walk forward so she doesn’t fall and hurt herself, okay?”
officer: “i said walk backwards!”
me: “fine, just don’t shoot her when she falls on her ass okay?”
officer: “what? i’m not going to shoot her!”
me: “then quit acting like you’re going to. if she keeps walking backward she’s going to trip over something, that’s a sudden movement ya know…”
they pull her off behind me where i can’t see her, and the officer starts questioning me about the car. so i told him about the deal.
officer: “i’m supposed to believe that you’re picking up your car at 3 am?”
me: “i’m supposed to believe that i would drive *this rig* to go steal a beat up mustang with? i live in olympia, i had the dolly here, i was on my way home, and i got here at 11pm. it’s not my fault your streets all have 2 different names, and that this damned address is nowhere near the street that maps say it’s on. besides, puyallup pd helped me find the stupid thing, call ’em and they’ll tell ya so”
officer: “this isn’t puyallup”
me :”where’s puyallup then?”
officer: “4 blocks that way”
me: “so what your saying is that you’d rather muddle on with this than just ask a fellow officer? okay, fine.”
officer: “you need to come clean with me, you say there’s no one else in the rig, she says there is, i’m going to turn the dog loose in there on them if someone’s in there”
me: “you can go ahead and do that officer, because the only thing left in that van is a cat, in a carrier, and if your dog eats luna you’ll be hearing for my lawyer.”
officer: “she says there’s another male in there”
me: “of course she does, you’ve lost track of your traffic stop my friend. she didn’t see him get out of the vehicle. ask her the males name”
sure enough, she thinks cougar_ml is still in the van.
(keep in mind, she was in front with me, he was sleeping in the back)
(he checks, i’m right)
officer: “so how can you prove this is your car?”
me: “well, the title is in oly and can be here in an hour, or you can go roust the woman who’s house i just towed it away from, or you can just trust your eyes and your spider sense. your call.”
officer: “where did you get it?”
me: (i give the officer the address, and explain that it might be better if i show them)
*30 minutes later*
officer: “okay, can you explain to the officer where it is and how to get there?”
(i do so)
(it takes *him* half an hour to find it. (and we’re only 3 blocks from there))
i also had to explain to them about the sca, and that the woman probably doesn’t even know my real name, but i’m also known as sylverstone. had to repeat this about 3 times.
one of the officers helps me out by saying: “yeah, i’ve seen their events, they do stuff at river glenn all the time, good folk generally”
officer: “you understand how this looks, right?”
me (with lots of enthusiasm >:) : “yeah!. me and my nondescript van backing 1/4 mile up a hill very slowly, making all sorts of noise and waking the neighborhood, using a tow dolly that wasn’t rented from uhaul in my name (it has uhaul plastered all over it) to steal a 60,000 dollar muscle car just like gone in 60 seconds!”
he kinda stared at me for a second, and he says “umm..” and then the radio says “apparently sylverstone there is the owner of the car”
and this officer starts apologizing all over the place.
so they let us all loose, and we get back in the van and head home..
interestingly enough, one of them followed us all the way to 512 and i-5, flashed his teardrop spots at me once, and got on 5 north as i got on 5 south.
apparently what started all this mess was a nosy neighbor that called the police and told them that “2 men with bulletproof vests and guns were stealing their neighbors car…”